(ƒ) does a happy lil' dance


mcqueen chronicles  

the mcqueen chronicles, chapter one - the newbies, the middlebies, and the oldbies.

as some of you may know, i've been invading the zzt.org message boards for quite some time. in fact, a week. i originally did this with lemmer. after a while, i figured that i could do this on my own, and started posting my insane comments on those boards. if you didn't already know, i'm that "george_carlin" character. believe it or not, i actually DO read those posts, and here's what i notice. the same old things. newbie-oldbie wars. after three and a half years expierence in the zzt world, newbies and oldbies have been fighting. some newbies and some oldbies wish it to stop. i'm here to tell you that it won't happen. now, maybe a few of you will say, "tseng, surely you must be mistaken!". but given that i am wise beyond my years and i've been in the zzt scene long enough to let what i say speak for itself, here are my five factors as to why it will never end.

the first and most obvious are the egomaniacs. normally, people would say that i shouldn't talk about myself, and perhaps that's true. you all know that i'm an egomaniac, and my upsettedness at losing game of the month all the way back to january of this year is a basic example of my egomaniacal ways. but i know some people that are more egomaniacal than i am. people like chuck. i'm taking NOTHING away from chuck. he and i are good friends now, especially since i got away from my #darkdigital duties (so now, other than this rant, he can only yell at me for being a dudley boys fan). but looking at quite a few of the posts that i was replying to, i noticed that chuck enjoyed flaming the new guys. (actually, i knew this LONG before i even thought about posting this.) chuck also flames knightt, but i'll get to that in just a second. chuck is my classic example at being an egomaniac. most egomaniacs are the oldbies that are oldbies because they've been in zzt for a long time. something longer than i have been in zzt. something like four to eight years. during that time, they've released little to nothing of importance in zzt. hell, the most noteworthy release chuck has probably had are the los refritos games, and there's only, like, one good one of the eight that were released. but i still respect chuck. not for his game-making abilities, but his ability to even STAND controlling #darkdigital. i'll also get to #darkdigital in a minute.

the second and just as obvious of these factors are the ones that are sometimes called "annoying bastards". for reference, i will call these people "parrots". the parrots are newbies that brag about their games even though they have no skill whatsoever. while looking over the boards, i chanced upon axical (i forget how to spell his name) and his gem mines post. first, just to levee any problems, i don't care if anyone rips off the gem hunter concept. in fact, i encourage it. i don't want to be the only son of a bitch that made item hunting games. anyway, back to where i was. i have never played gem mines nor do i wish to. but from what i hear, it lacks stk. axical claims that he cannot run stk. well, first, if he can't run stk, then he's got problems, and second, he can borrow zzt's toolkits from one of the many games that has an stk board. lord knows, there has to be at least fifteen billion toolkits out there. it's NO EXCUSE to say that you can't run stk. another prime example of a parrot is scorch3000 and his ease of being angered. i'm not going to go too far into him, i haven't really read many of his posts, but judging from getting banned from the zzt.org message boards, he should definitely be classified as a "parrot".

the third factor is also obvious. it's a little place called #darkdigital. don't think i don't know what i'm talking about when i begin rambling about this place. being an op here for two years has a few thoughts. chuck has truly done a fine job of running #darkdigital. i mean, it's still here, isn't it? the most frequently asked question i get about #darkdigital is the "how did chuck come to power?" question. well, to tell you the truth, i wasn't in #dd that long. the name came from the combination of the names of two very old programming groups. their names? darkmage's "darkmage software", the most popular and recognized programming group of 1997, and chuck's "digital glass enterprises", which, at its peak, had, like, four members that didn't do anything. if you want any questions answered about chuck's coming to power in #dd, take it up with darkmage or chuck himself, all i can say is that "chuck got there first". now, the only problem i have with #dd is that, contrary to what koopo said to me, a few weeks ago, i am not boycotting it. if i was boycotting it, do you think i'd be complimenting chuck on his fine work with #dd? fuck no. i'd be flaming him to this very day? but i'm not. i talk with him virtually every day, and not in a flamentory(not a word) basis. i'm not coming to #dd because i just don't like the ambiance of it. this brings me to the fourth and fifth factors.

i think i'll agree with hydra on this one. the fourth factor is everything relating to oldbies acting like newbies. i'm sure a lot of you know what i'm talking about. fishfood, lord igsel, these are the two biggest criminals in the basis of that. zamros, too, even though i haven't seen real good shit from him. the "oldbies acting like newbies" thing is getting annoying. it's one of the reasons why the 24hozzts suck now (read "chapter two" on that), and one of the obscure reasons why i left zzt. hell, take a look at fishfood and dragon's interviews for interactive fantasies. fishfood is a fucking GAME OF THE MONTH winner and he STILL acts like a newbie. of course, again, i'm still not taking anything away from fishfood or igsel. they're great zzters and they've made some neat games. but, there's still zamros and dragon, who still haven't really made anything of notice, except for dragon's neat 24hozzt back in misteroo's contest. i don't want to try and end the caps/misused grammar fad, even if it isn't funny. i'm just telling you what annoys me.

this brings me to factor five. oldbies vs. oldbies. i've seen fights between oldbies that make the newbies/oldbies fights look pale in comparison. i'm going to use my two favorite examples. chuck vs. knightt. i think we all know that these two absolutely hate each other. to tell you the truth, i forget how it started. something to do with #darkdigital/#sledgehammer. anyway, there's probably NOTHING that can keep them from hating each other, so don't try stopping them. my other example is one in the past. back in 1998, there was a programming group, that i believe is still around. the name? akware. during the summer of 1998, akware split into two factions. the first is akware itself. the second was known as "chaos and disorder", which renamed itself in 1999 to the infamous "reptile house". i joined chaos and disorder as a beta-tester, and that's probably how i got a beta copy of teen priest 1. then again, draco had twenty some beta testers. oh well. there were a bunch of problems that existed between these two factions. most of the fighting took place from the presidents of both groups, lemmer and electron. of course, my observation (and a few leftover documents from the past) a few months later led me to believe that jawatrader was manipulating the whole battle. so end game, there. jawatrader, an oldbie, causing two groups to fight. isn't that interesting? i love zzt politics. there should be a college course on it.

so what have i said? i basically gave you a history lesson. my five factors of newbie/oldbie war. it's up to you to decide how oldbies and newbies work. they work in mysterious ways. i didn't say anything about middlebies, but i guess i'm tying them into the oldbies. all i'm saying is that instead of being against the oldbie/newbie wars, let them go at it. it's happened for so long that it's better to just take up a shotgun and a doberman launcher and go fight, yourself. it's more fun that way. besides, trying to stop the fighting is like being an enviromentalist. they don't give a SHIT about the earth, they just want a better habitat (george carlin said the same thing in "the world is fine"). i, obviously, won't give a shit, since i'm not making games any more, and even though i still keep up with the zzt scene, i just don't care about the scene all that much. end game.

-tseng mcqueen, 4/5/2000