Dan F. 2
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Last modified 2012-07-19 19:16:34
This game is an awe-inspiring display of extensive work on a massive scale we see so seldom in Megazeux currently, but is so poorly executed that a 3 board demo of a hammer engine would glow in comparison.
This game is branded as an adventure game in the first board... Yes, I would have liked that, but this component (which lasted about 10 boards anyway) included such things as the need to backtrack through a maze... not once, not twice, but SIX times, such things as going back to the bottom floor after every single step forward in the process of getting to the top floor, such things as nonsense reasoning for any given thing to happen, such things as--- you get the idea.
Anyway, after traversing this ghastly and seemingly endless series of adventure game no-nos, you get to the woods... where the game makes the comically common mistake of changing genre's entirely, but I was hopeful now that perhaps something good could come out of this. It didn't. In fact, it kept some gems from the previous genre such as baktracking and retracking the same board.... THREE TIMES. Maybe if the enemies weren't tedious and noisy, the scenery wasn't garish, and the gameplay weren't tired and petrifyingly boring, I could forgive this too. But I can't. Did I mention that later in the game, you have to do it all again? TWICE more?
Ugh... then you get to a tower... I almost just don't want to talk about the tower. If there were any fun to be had from this game to begin with, it flatlined at the tower. The boards consist of two pretty piss poor chars and 2 colors that are, above all else, grey. The enemies... Are the same as the forest, but now they have more health and make more noise. More fun right?
Then there's a boss (what is essentially the same boss that shows of several times throughout the game, except with more health.) There is no real strategy to this boss unless you count the ol' knowing-this-game-is-terrible-and-f11-cheating-to-even-bear-it as a strategy.
Echh.... it goes on like this.... Along with the worst platformer engine ever (probably ripped from Alien Wars), a sountrack that we are ALL utterly sick of, sounds that play about 30 times whenever they're triggered, a complete lack of entertainment value, and contextual story issues that force one to just give up caring at all what happens to the player, this game gets one star. I'd sooner light my teeth on fire with gasoline than play it again. This game is as fulfilling to complete as starring at a beige wall for four hours. Even my brother felt bad about not being able to stop me from playing it.
This game is branded as an adventure game in the first board... Yes, I would have liked that, but this component (which lasted about 10 boards anyway) included such things as the need to backtrack through a maze... not once, not twice, but SIX times, such things as going back to the bottom floor after every single step forward in the process of getting to the top floor, such things as nonsense reasoning for any given thing to happen, such things as--- you get the idea.
Anyway, after traversing this ghastly and seemingly endless series of adventure game no-nos, you get to the woods... where the game makes the comically common mistake of changing genre's entirely, but I was hopeful now that perhaps something good could come out of this. It didn't. In fact, it kept some gems from the previous genre such as baktracking and retracking the same board.... THREE TIMES. Maybe if the enemies weren't tedious and noisy, the scenery wasn't garish, and the gameplay weren't tired and petrifyingly boring, I could forgive this too. But I can't. Did I mention that later in the game, you have to do it all again? TWICE more?
Ugh... then you get to a tower... I almost just don't want to talk about the tower. If there were any fun to be had from this game to begin with, it flatlined at the tower. The boards consist of two pretty piss poor chars and 2 colors that are, above all else, grey. The enemies... Are the same as the forest, but now they have more health and make more noise. More fun right?
Then there's a boss (what is essentially the same boss that shows of several times throughout the game, except with more health.) There is no real strategy to this boss unless you count the ol' knowing-this-game-is-terrible-and-f11-cheating-to-even-bear-it as a strategy.
Echh.... it goes on like this.... Along with the worst platformer engine ever (probably ripped from Alien Wars), a sountrack that we are ALL utterly sick of, sounds that play about 30 times whenever they're triggered, a complete lack of entertainment value, and contextual story issues that force one to just give up caring at all what happens to the player, this game gets one star. I'd sooner light my teeth on fire with gasoline than play it again. This game is as fulfilling to complete as starring at a beige wall for four hours. Even my brother felt bad about not being able to stop me from playing it.